ariemdreams

great article: Children are our Zen Masters

Breathe.

Breathing can transform your life.

If you feel stressed out and overwhelmed, breathe. It will calm you and release the tensions.

If you are worried about something coming up, or caught up in something that already happened, breathe. It will bring you back to the present.

If you are discouraged and have forgotten your purpose in life, breathe. It will remind you about how precious life is, and that each breath in this life is a gift you need to appreciate. Make the most of this gift.

If you have too many tasks to do, or are scattered during your workday, breathe. It will help bring you into focus, to concentrate on the most important task you need to be focusing on right now.

If you are spending time with someone you love, breathe. It will allow you to be present with that person, rather than thinking about work or other things you need to do.

If you are exercising, breathe. It will help you enjoy the exercise, and therefore stick with it for longer.

If you are moving too fast, breathe. It will remind you to slow down, and enjoy life more.

So breathe.

And enjoy each moment of this life.

They’re too fleeting and few to waste.

This post is taken from Leo of Zen Habits. (Zenhabits.net)

Daughters make you violent!! anyone who knows me knows I’m very laid back and easy going. I got married at 23. I had three daughters by 1995. And those four ladies have been the very best thing that has happened to me. Now to the crazy and violent part…

When the girls were little, I was the proudest poppa. Watching them grow. Seeing my personality coming through. Seeing Marcy’s personality come through. Seeing their own personality come through.

Now that my youngest is 11, I live in a household of women. And yes, I’ve always been in a house full of women, but then it was different. Then, they were my sisters. Then, they were my comrades. Then, we would hit each other and laugh and play. Then, I wasn’t raising girls and protecting them from boys and men. Then, I was a child.

Now, I’m in a household with three daughters and my wife. Now, it’s completely different. Now, I have budding women who don’t see what I see. Now, I have spaghetti straps over bare shoulders on a summer day that are cute in the catalog, but on my daughter they look better with a shawl (or a raincoat). Now, I have little women looking at me like I’m short!! Now, I have little people whose names are not on the lease looking at me like they pay rent and I don’t. Now, I have big bundles of emotion walking around. Now, I have tears when my voice raises.

So why violent?
As my daughters get older and become young women and more and more thoughts and desires are brought out in the open, I realize the vast population and circumstances that I’m protecting them from. I realize that everyone - EVERYONE - has the potential to harm them in one way or another. So my job as protector has been added to my job as daddy, mentor, teacher, friend and guide. Protecting them from illness, disease and falling down was the easy part. Making sure that NO ONE harms their innocence, making sure that no one assaults their being, making sure that no one “touches” them stirs something in me that I’ve only seen in movies. It stirs a deep, dark desire to annihilate anyone that thinks of harming any one of them. It has me planning to retaliate violently to anyone who harms them. It surprised me and felt natural all at the same time. It’s seems fine to want to take the life of, scare, hurt and/or harm anyone who assaults any part of my daughters at all.

Sometimes I can’t speak. I get real quiet (as if I’m not already) and plan what I’d do. Sometimes, I just walk behind my daughters in the mall and plan to slice anyone who even gestures towards them. Sometimes.

It’s crazy what thoughts come to mind being a father of daughters. Although I have a general sense that everything will be alright. That it’ll all work out. I still have thoughts of what if. I still have thoughts of what I’d do if someone was to ever, ever, e-e-e-e-e-e-e-ever……

ask and you shall recieve. complain and you get stuck in traffic. that is a line i wrote to my cousin in an email reply that i decided not to expound on, but i will here.

so, a little history….

My cousin, sent this:
Remember…..Just going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in your garage makes you a car.

My wife replied this way:
Does that mean that not going to church doesn’t make you a heathen? Or not being Christian doesn’t make you a sinner?

And of course, I added this:
and just callin yourself a christian doesn’t make you better either. i dont steal, covet, drink, smoke or cheat on my wife, but according to the church - I’m a heathen. Huh?
but if christians love christ and christ is love, anyone in love is a christian, right?
a christian is still a christian without being in church! love is still love without a “spouse”. what is just is. what does it matter the label?
but being in a garage does make you a mechanic (just not a good one)

so, by now, I probably offended some of you, but that’s not what i’m getting at. I’m trying to explain the stuck in traffic line.

all the replies reflect my aversion to labels, popular thought and secular dogma. my life is a constant struggle to not struggle. i am constantly trying to achieve balance. not all the time, but that is my purpose.

although some of my comments above may seem “mean”, “snippy” or even “angry”. it’s far from it. i love everyone and everything. we’ll get into that later.

Now, the traffic comment. I said “ask and you shall receive. complain and you get stuck in traffic” because my cousin said she wishes that she could be married for 14 years like my wife and i have enjoyed. so i imposed that if she wishes it to be true, it will be. We get what we ask for. always. if you say you know you’re gonna get a ticket, you’ll get a ticket. some people tend to have good things happen to them, but actually it doesn’t happen to them - they make things happen. And the things happen to be good.
if you complain that you know you’ll get stuck in traffic you will get stuck in traffic. But what if you’re positive and you still get stuck in traffic? Being stuck in traffic and going slower in your car than normal are two entirely separate moments. One is filled with frustration and bad words (marcy). The other is looking at it differently.

I have to emphasize the word “stuck”! Traffic is like life. Sometimes its fast. Sometimes it’s slow. Sometimes you hate it and sometimes you don’t even notice it! Traffic is a great way to gauge your tempermant and outlook on life. If you complain you get stuck in traffic means, “if you love life, you’re never “stuck” in traffic. At some point, you don’t even notice that it’s traffic. You just see cars, the road and scenery. It still takes the same amount of time to get home, but it’s not raising your stress levels or blood pressure.

there is a beautiful quote:
“change the way you look at things and the things you look at change”

So why did a drill, a needle and a deep cavity have to come between me on my back inbetween two lovely ladies this morning???

First, thank you Dr. Nguyen for a great job on my cavity.

It started with me going in for three fillings and the one was so bad she said, “let’s do the one and see how you feel”. I was like “uh okay”. So she starts and I’m fine. I’ve practiced breathing and relaxing in the dentist chair from the fillings and scaling from before so I’m good.

She says you’re going to feel a little heat. I’m like okay. I feel nothing. She does something else - I feel nothing. So I guess there’s some new topical treatment to numb the area. I was like COOL!

Then she gets the drill. I breathe because I notice I’m all tense and arching my back from the sound of the drill. So everything’s cool and then OW! Hey and I squirm away from her. She says, “you feel discomfort?” yeah, no comfort, no comfort.

She says,”okay, it’s deeper than I thought”. Gives me a needle. I’m thinking, “not a prob but now I won’t feel the drill.

(loud buzzer) wrong-a-mungo! At first it was fine then MM!! (mouth is held open) and I squirm away again. She gives me another shot in the gums. Says something about deep or spread or something. Now I’m tight as a drum thinking “how come I’m feeling the drill?this thing hurts!!” At the time I probably cussed. Not at her but at the pain.

So I’m breathing, relaxing and she’s drilling away. Thought I felt something but then it went away.. And I don’t feel the pain anymore. Nice.

So she fills the gaping orafice with something, mashes it with her thumb and the something else with some tool.

Then I hear her say, “I’ve never seen it like this before. Have you ever seen it this bad?” she’s talking to the assistant who says no. I’m like, “WHAT???” but they were talking about the wind!! Whew!

She tells me to bite down and grind my teeth, does some more whatever and then tells me to rinse. I’m done. Nice.

Gives me a little precaution like don’t kick puppies and don’t eat real crunchy food for a few hours.

All in all, a good visit!

“They see differently. Literally,” he begins. Male and female eyes are not organized in the same way, he explains. The composition of the male eye makes it attuned to motion and direction. “Boys interpret the world as objects moving through space,” he says. “The teacher should move around the room constantly and be that object.”

The male eye is also drawn to cooler colors like silver, blue, black, grey, and brown. It’s no accident boys tend to create pictures of moving objects like spaceships, cars, and trucks in dark colors instead of drawing the happy colorful family, like girls in their class.

The female eye, on the other hand, is drawn to textures and colors. It’s also oriented toward warmer colors—reds, yellow, oranges—and visuals with more details, like faces. To engage girls, Chadwell says, the teacher doesn’t need to move as much, if at all. Girls work well in circles, facing each other. Using descriptive phrases and lots of color in overhead presentations or on the chalkboard gets their attention.

Parents tilt their heads, curious tohear more.